Remember the times before GPS? Yeah, me neither. I do remember typing my destination address into Mapquest’s magical navigator, and scribbling down the directions on a scrap of paper, dashing in my car, and whizzing on my way.
Many times, I still got lost. But that was half the fun of it, wasn’t it? It was part of the adventure and emblazoned anxiety.
Now, we set out on a journey and it’s no longer really a journey. We’ve become so reliant on information systems outside ourselves, and lost touch with our own inner compass.
Do you see where I’m going with this? We try to control the events of our lives, set reminders on our phones, tweet and post and scroll, clutching fervently to whatever seems to be working for us. Distractions from ourselves. Whatever it takes to get us to our pre-determined destination crafted by the thinking (vs. intuitive) mind, that’s what we’re going to do. Steps A-Z. In sequential order.
Well what happens when our plan runs off the tracks? When T comes before B? When someone throws a wrench in our perfectly prescribed timeline to “Z” destination? I can tell you what happens for me. I become disappointed, confused, angry, bitter, sad, and usually, defeated. I forget the entire journey, throw away the destination, and move on to devise another plan.
Maybe I don’t need to do all that planning. Hmm, there’s an idea. Maybe it makes more sense to follow signs, landmarks, breadcrumbs, garden gnomes. (Ok, probably not the last one). At least I won’t be so attached to a rigid outcome.
I think by allowing myself to stray, to wander, to try different hats and shoes and scarves on, I can free myself from the anxiety of reaching that pre-set destination. Maybe I’m already where I’m supposed to be, in every moment. And the more I’m fully here and awake in each moment, the easier it will become to follow the flags, lights, and arrows pointing me to my next excursion.
This of course, requires trust in some force greater than myself, and also great trust in myself. I used to ignore, shove aside, and snuff out my intuitive sense. I’d shush that hushed voice that was actually guiding me. I did things that didn’t align with what felt right to me, or true to my essential nature.
The more I denied my inner compass, the more lost I became. But now, I feel like I’m starting to rest in the knowledge that I will listen to ME, and also take some hints and nudges from God/Universe/Spiritual Law/whatever IT is…because that resides in me.
The answers reveal themselves like dominoes clicking gently against each other, spiraling and weaving and knowing exactly where they are headed.